It's not just a Marching Show! Tonight was Amy's party. And, as usual in orderless social situations, I froze up and became my little introverted self. Most of my conversations involve little real content; I prefer the creative, imaginative kind. So when I'm in a position where it doesn't work or it's likely to be ridiculed instead of cultivated, I have to drop it. I don't really talk about other people (if I can help it), and my small talk is pretty useless.
It's odd, I didn't make the connection as clearly, but I really am an order and certainty freak. That's why it distresses me so when people don't know how they're getting home. It's unimaginable to me how someone can go through the day and not have these things planned. I'm a planner and a worrier. I just can't relax and let things flow. Yet. I'll have to work on it...
I got a book at the library. A fantasy one, risque' no less. It sounds good enough, maybe I'll finish it. I also thought of an idea for a story the other night that might be an interesting vent for my frustrations. But it's sure going to be insulting and disturbing to everyone that reads it. I'll write most of it before posting the blog, if I ever get around to it though, so don't look for it anytime soon. Depressing, dreary, un-funny... The side of me I need to purge. Maybe this will help. Or maybe not. Cheers either way!
No comments:
Post a Comment