It may be here, it may be there,
It could be round, it could be square,
It could be black, it could be white;
Do you have it? You just might.
It could be dead, maybe alive,
It could suffer, or it could thrive,
It could be silent or make a sound,
It could be nowhere or all around.
It may be common, it could be rare,
It might have feelings, it may not care,
It could be large, it could be small,
It might not exist at all!
What could it be, so mysterious and vague? Do you know the answer, or shall questions plague? Think outside of the box, if you will; perhaps you won't require help still.
Alright, well that's this week's riddle (the last paragraph isn't written in with the rest of the poem since it won't count in the scoring). Just remember to take chances and not over think it. I don't know if this will be easy or if it will confound you horribly, I'll just have to wait and see. If you're really stuck you're probably not going to like the correct answer, so I guess I'll just hope everyone gets it right (If not, I'm going to have to listen to a lot of yelling. Now where is my rapid attack cougar when I need it?)
Anyway, here's the updated scores (last week's only counted one point): Derek 8, Elizabeth G. 6, Caitlin 6, The Sugue 6, Ellen 6, Martha 6, Amy 3, Melissa 3, Rachel 3, Elizabeth E. 6, Kelly 1. (There are still a few of you who haven't done all the past riddles. Get with it ya bums!)
As for the posting contest, Elizabeth E. had the most posts this week, so she gets to make the call on colors (leave em in the comments box and I'll put them up). Until next time (or space).
Sunday, November 30
Saturday, November 29
The Triumphant Return of Cae..er..Dylan
After my brief hiatus in that dank, dark dungeons that are my grandparents lovely home, I have returned! It is so wonderful to bask in the glory of the radiant masses as they shower me with rose petals, cheers, and all sorts of shiny metal shrapnel. I then proceed on to my magnificient abode, wherein wait my trusty servants, Tom Pewter and Homer Werk. As I prepare to give the masses an encouraging speech to assure them that I shall remain with them forever and always, at least in my heart (as long as they don't start scrimping on their taxes), I hear a noise behind me. I turn, and there is Homer with a dagger clutched in his hand! Tom fights him off briefly but Homer eventually overpowers him, diving straight for me! "Y tu Homer Werk?" "Sorry Dylan, Spanish isn't til next semester!" he replies as he shoves the dagger in my heart!
Oh the inhumanity!!! Dylan, once King and Emperor of Procrastinatoria has been dethroned and annihilated! Why?!?! And on this, the Tides of Thanksgiving!
What I'm really trying to say is that, yes I am back from whereever it was I went, and no I will not spoon feed you mushed up asparagus for fifty years after your experiment involving nitroglycerin and cheese goes horribly wrong. Plus, I've got tons of homework. Will that prevent me wasting most of my time and having to rush frantically at 4PM on Monday for a way that I can extend the day 83 and a half hours? Of course not! But that doesn't mean I can't complain about it! (first one to complain about the double negative gets satirically or rhymically punished!)
So I'm stuck here, playing Risk II on the computer (which is surprisingly entertaining, although I can't play against real people) and, as usual, wallowing in despair. I may trying basking and/or surfing in despair if I get bored of wallowing, we'll just have to see. Well, I've got time to waste, and I consider this minutely productive! So away I go!...in a "I'm still right here" kinda way...
Oh the inhumanity!!! Dylan, once King and Emperor of Procrastinatoria has been dethroned and annihilated! Why?!?! And on this, the Tides of Thanksgiving!
What I'm really trying to say is that, yes I am back from whereever it was I went, and no I will not spoon feed you mushed up asparagus for fifty years after your experiment involving nitroglycerin and cheese goes horribly wrong. Plus, I've got tons of homework. Will that prevent me wasting most of my time and having to rush frantically at 4PM on Monday for a way that I can extend the day 83 and a half hours? Of course not! But that doesn't mean I can't complain about it! (first one to complain about the double negative gets satirically or rhymically punished!)
So I'm stuck here, playing Risk II on the computer (which is surprisingly entertaining, although I can't play against real people) and, as usual, wallowing in despair. I may trying basking and/or surfing in despair if I get bored of wallowing, we'll just have to see. Well, I've got time to waste, and I consider this minutely productive! So away I go!...in a "I'm still right here" kinda way...
Tuesday, November 25
Waltzing Alone
Well, it seems the Plague is running rampant throughout the school system. The most likely cause is the incentive points, which seem now to be more of a Devil/soul-selling thing than an actual positive note for education. That's not to say I wouldn't hesitate to come to school and spread some sort of vile contagion even without the accursed points, because I'm just that kind of a fool.
But to cope with all the horrible tragedy (and idle time I thought I'd fill walking through the halls), I've decided to try walking 1 (or 3/4 time, whichever strikes your fancy). It's rather interesting and certainly entertaining. You can just walk along and as the time in the rhythm comes up, backpack permitting, you can twirl around, do a leap, or glide right in front of passers by in an attempt to create a pile-up for your own sadistic enjoyment. It rivals trying to tap out the percussion part to Mars, The Bringer of Mar and hum the main theme at the same time (If you want to drive yourself crazy, try it; 5/4 is just crazy!).
Speaking of my ever spreading insanity, as if I didn't have enough frayed thoughts roaming my mind in search of prey, my contacts apparently require mental power to sustain their incredible non-glasses-requiring-seeing-power-of-refraction. In layman's (and coherent people's) terms, according to the all-knowing optometrist different muscles are used in contacts than in glasses (or the same muscle differently), thus I have to condition my eyes. You'd think after all my years of sight, and there's quite a few believe you me, I'd be good enough at it to not need training. But nnnoooo. So instead, during this arduous process, my mind becomes foggy and I can't focus. Not that I do a very good job under normal circumstances, but you can see how this compounds the problem. Ah well, I guess now I have an excuse for eccentricity. Well, besides the malnourishment and mental scarring.
And that is about all the rambling I feel up to today. Remember to post if you want a chance to change these blasted colors. Otherwise, continue doing what you were doing before you got distracted. Unless it involves five surgeons, a miter saw, and a beautifully grotesque copy of Thomas More's Utopia.
But to cope with all the horrible tragedy (and idle time I thought I'd fill walking through the halls), I've decided to try walking 1 (or 3/4 time, whichever strikes your fancy). It's rather interesting and certainly entertaining. You can just walk along and as the time in the rhythm comes up, backpack permitting, you can twirl around, do a leap, or glide right in front of passers by in an attempt to create a pile-up for your own sadistic enjoyment. It rivals trying to tap out the percussion part to Mars, The Bringer of Mar and hum the main theme at the same time (If you want to drive yourself crazy, try it; 5/4 is just crazy!).
Speaking of my ever spreading insanity, as if I didn't have enough frayed thoughts roaming my mind in search of prey, my contacts apparently require mental power to sustain their incredible non-glasses-requiring-seeing-power-of-refraction. In layman's (and coherent people's) terms, according to the all-knowing optometrist different muscles are used in contacts than in glasses (or the same muscle differently), thus I have to condition my eyes. You'd think after all my years of sight, and there's quite a few believe you me, I'd be good enough at it to not need training. But nnnoooo. So instead, during this arduous process, my mind becomes foggy and I can't focus. Not that I do a very good job under normal circumstances, but you can see how this compounds the problem. Ah well, I guess now I have an excuse for eccentricity. Well, besides the malnourishment and mental scarring.
And that is about all the rambling I feel up to today. Remember to post if you want a chance to change these blasted colors. Otherwise, continue doing what you were doing before you got distracted. Unless it involves five surgeons, a miter saw, and a beautifully grotesque copy of Thomas More's Utopia.
Sunday, November 23
Riddle #5
An incentive to act or an incentive to run
Regardless of which, it’s rarely much fun.
If you have too much, your life it may rule
Yet if you have none, you’re more of a fool.
Used by great leaders to inspire, yet divide
A more potent tool than love or pride.
Often irrational, with no reason why;
Still if you don’t heed it, you’re likely to die.
Overcome it you must, if you wish to succeed
But a healthy amount is something you need.
Without any, you can try what you will,
But I strongly doubt you’ll be with us still.
Well, I managed to waste an hour of time and put off all the mountains of work I need to do, but I managed to pump out another riddle. Not one of my better works, but I had to put up something! I think this one's probably an easier one, but I say that about all of em, so who knows.
Anyway, here's the scores thus far: Derek 5, Elizabeth G. 5, Caitlin 5, The Sugue 5, Ellen 5, Martha 4, Melissa 2, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1. I'm still not enforcing any sort of time limit, but it would be nice to tie up the loose ends a few of you have.
On another note, I've decided to let whoever makes the most posts each week decide what colors the journal will have the next week. You can see a list of the possibilities by doing a google search for hexadecimal colors and clicking the first or second links (there's a virtual crayola box of choices). If you make the most posts, but don't want to choose, then just tell someone else to do it for you (or I'll make it black on black and ride into the distant laughing maniacly).
Well, I've got Chemistry to do, until next time.
Regardless of which, it’s rarely much fun.
If you have too much, your life it may rule
Yet if you have none, you’re more of a fool.
Used by great leaders to inspire, yet divide
A more potent tool than love or pride.
Often irrational, with no reason why;
Still if you don’t heed it, you’re likely to die.
Overcome it you must, if you wish to succeed
But a healthy amount is something you need.
Without any, you can try what you will,
But I strongly doubt you’ll be with us still.
Well, I managed to waste an hour of time and put off all the mountains of work I need to do, but I managed to pump out another riddle. Not one of my better works, but I had to put up something! I think this one's probably an easier one, but I say that about all of em, so who knows.
Anyway, here's the scores thus far: Derek 5, Elizabeth G. 5, Caitlin 5, The Sugue 5, Ellen 5, Martha 4, Melissa 2, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1. I'm still not enforcing any sort of time limit, but it would be nice to tie up the loose ends a few of you have.
On another note, I've decided to let whoever makes the most posts each week decide what colors the journal will have the next week. You can see a list of the possibilities by doing a google search for hexadecimal colors and clicking the first or second links (there's a virtual crayola box of choices). If you make the most posts, but don't want to choose, then just tell someone else to do it for you (or I'll make it black on black and ride into the distant laughing maniacly).
Well, I've got Chemistry to do, until next time.
Thursday, November 20
Scandal Across the Board!
Big business took another hit today. Allegations against corporate tycoon and mass landowner “Rich Uncle” Pennybags were brought up earlier today. Charges such as money laundering, extortion, tax evasion, bribery, inappropriate relations with inanimate objects, theft, and more have all surfaced earlier today. Pennybags, known for his trademark top hat and shady corporate dealings, has been the source of many past charges, some of which the reader may remember, but this latest set may finally put the mad man behind bars for good.
Foremost of the new allegations is the charge that Mr. Pennybags has been printing his own money and using it to increase his property value and buying power. Pennybags owns a variety of land from run down shacks in the Mediterranean (already in clear violation of building and health codes) to elaborate estates in North Carolina, home of notorious mobsters and ex-Enron executives.
Also, expenses credited to Pennybags’s company, Pennybags Incorporated, are under investigation. Charges such as “Business Supper with Shoe”, “Thursday Night Thimble Meeting”, “Evening Entertaining Iron”, frequent trips to the “Boardwalk”, and others are especially concerning. Pennybags is notorious for his blatant abuse of his personality and power, swaying local beauty contest officials, stealing public funds, extorting illegal marriage taxes, using tax loopholes to gain money through unemployment benefits, holding a general monopoly over the Boarding District, and more.
Although charged before, Pennybags has used mysterious colored slips of paper to avoid any confinement within federal facilities. This brings up further charges against the local police force who are being called out for failure to cite Miranda Rights, arbitrary and completely random arrests, a flagrant speed trap apprehending even lawful individuals, not to mention bribery and poorly guarded prisons.
A tenant of Pennybags describes him more as a mad dictator. “ The man is clearly daft. He treats us as if we’re pawns in some sort of game! He sells our homes to his pet dog and luxury sports car and buys them back after they’ve decimated everything! His sports car for crying out loud! Not only that, but he uses his own personal cannons and battleships to wage wars for his own amusement on our front yards. He’ll buy houses and hotels, erect them in one day, and demolish them an hour later with no warning to the poor residents whatsoever! He’s a menace that needs to be stopped!”
Pennybags Inc.’s owner, the P&B Corp., said through a spokesman “We’re shocked at these frivolous and obviously unsubstantiated charges! Mr. Pennybags is a model citizen who is a staunch supporter of all things American. After conducting our own investigation we fully expect to welcome Mr. Pennybags back into the P&B family.”
Pennybags had this to say as being escorted to a waiting police car. “This is just another example of the liberal media trying to take trumped up, minor incidents and use them discredit and take down successful businessmen! It’s all part of a vast communist conspiracy to tear down all that this country is made of. Mark my words, this is just the beginning!”
Pennybags arch-rival “ Brother Comrade” Nocash Foreyu made no comment but only let out a deep, maniacal laugh as he jumped onto his solid black winged unicorn and rode into the sunset followed by his legions of yellow hatted leprechauns singing "Turkey in the Straw."
Pennybags is scheduled to begin preliminary hearings November 31.
Foremost of the new allegations is the charge that Mr. Pennybags has been printing his own money and using it to increase his property value and buying power. Pennybags owns a variety of land from run down shacks in the Mediterranean (already in clear violation of building and health codes) to elaborate estates in North Carolina, home of notorious mobsters and ex-Enron executives.
Also, expenses credited to Pennybags’s company, Pennybags Incorporated, are under investigation. Charges such as “Business Supper with Shoe”, “Thursday Night Thimble Meeting”, “Evening Entertaining Iron”, frequent trips to the “Boardwalk”, and others are especially concerning. Pennybags is notorious for his blatant abuse of his personality and power, swaying local beauty contest officials, stealing public funds, extorting illegal marriage taxes, using tax loopholes to gain money through unemployment benefits, holding a general monopoly over the Boarding District, and more.
Although charged before, Pennybags has used mysterious colored slips of paper to avoid any confinement within federal facilities. This brings up further charges against the local police force who are being called out for failure to cite Miranda Rights, arbitrary and completely random arrests, a flagrant speed trap apprehending even lawful individuals, not to mention bribery and poorly guarded prisons.
A tenant of Pennybags describes him more as a mad dictator. “ The man is clearly daft. He treats us as if we’re pawns in some sort of game! He sells our homes to his pet dog and luxury sports car and buys them back after they’ve decimated everything! His sports car for crying out loud! Not only that, but he uses his own personal cannons and battleships to wage wars for his own amusement on our front yards. He’ll buy houses and hotels, erect them in one day, and demolish them an hour later with no warning to the poor residents whatsoever! He’s a menace that needs to be stopped!”
Pennybags Inc.’s owner, the P&B Corp., said through a spokesman “We’re shocked at these frivolous and obviously unsubstantiated charges! Mr. Pennybags is a model citizen who is a staunch supporter of all things American. After conducting our own investigation we fully expect to welcome Mr. Pennybags back into the P&B family.”
Pennybags had this to say as being escorted to a waiting police car. “This is just another example of the liberal media trying to take trumped up, minor incidents and use them discredit and take down successful businessmen! It’s all part of a vast communist conspiracy to tear down all that this country is made of. Mark my words, this is just the beginning!”
Pennybags arch-rival “ Brother Comrade” Nocash Foreyu made no comment but only let out a deep, maniacal laugh as he jumped onto his solid black winged unicorn and rode into the sunset followed by his legions of yellow hatted leprechauns singing "Turkey in the Straw."
Pennybags is scheduled to begin preliminary hearings November 31.
Wednesday, November 19
Here and Here Again
Well, as the Model UNers prepare to go off on another voyage to try and save the world, I'm stuck at home (once again) thinking of what might have been. I've actually been doing it quite a lot lately. Regrets, mistakes, murders I didn't cover up too well, that hobo who still thinks I'm a leprechaun with the power to make him a real tuna sandwich (not those fakes kinds he sees in his dreams), these things and more plague my mind. The word that most comes up is "should". "You should have done this." "You should never have done that." "You should have used that rocket launcher three seconds sooner." You get the gist.
Perhaps I should have tried to go to the Model UN thing. Last year I was largely dissappointed, aside from my stint in front of the Security Council, but the needless formality and biased workings of the convention were only parts of my antipathy towards it. I suppose I expected more and, as usual when I raise my expectations, my ideas crashed and burned. Plus I got afflicted with my normal jitters and knowing how to do things much better in hindsight. Maybe I'll try Youth Ledge.
Ah well, what can you do? Other than create a time machine, go back (forward) in time, make the necessary changes, and watch reality and existence crumble in front of your very eyes. *Sigh* One of these days. Now where did I leave my How-To-Make-A-Big-Explosion-With-A-Toothbrush-And-A-Container-Of-Peanut-Butter Pamphlet....
Perhaps I should have tried to go to the Model UN thing. Last year I was largely dissappointed, aside from my stint in front of the Security Council, but the needless formality and biased workings of the convention were only parts of my antipathy towards it. I suppose I expected more and, as usual when I raise my expectations, my ideas crashed and burned. Plus I got afflicted with my normal jitters and knowing how to do things much better in hindsight. Maybe I'll try Youth Ledge.
Ah well, what can you do? Other than create a time machine, go back (forward) in time, make the necessary changes, and watch reality and existence crumble in front of your very eyes. *Sigh* One of these days. Now where did I leave my How-To-Make-A-Big-Explosion-With-A-Toothbrush-And-A-Container-Of-Peanut-Butter Pamphlet....
Tuesday, November 18
A Day Like Any Other (except this one's worth noting)
Well, today was eventful in the normal uneventful way my life normally is. I raged against society a bit more today, and in finding one of those truths about life, I realized that it's moving closer to anarchy and Ayn Rand's philosophy (no, not all of it, and yes, I'm as shocked as you are). It really is rather disturbing, but I'll be glad to talk about it if you have no better way to waste your time. (As a Warning to Readers, I strongly advise against seeking the ultimate Truth and furtherance of man's understand of existence. It's not only depressing, but it can really kill a party).
On another note, I went to that farce of a initiation in the National Honors Society. I really don't understand the need for them, but I go along like the rest of the flock because it's not worth protesting (although I do regret not writing my typical "Washington Irving" in the sign-in book thing). On the bright side, I got to mingle with my homies, which I rather enjoyed. It was rather strange, seeing as how I was intoxicated on the atmosphere (I think; maybe Conatser spiked the lemonade). But it was kinda fun; just inspired me to pursue the board game thing more (much better than any stupid movie or other social event). I mean really; who can refuse an all night 4 player Stratego extravanganza.
Thirdly (yes, it's that kind of a day), I borrowed Weird Al's new CD (even though it's been out quite a few monthes) from The Sugue. I enjoyed it. I have a flair for the dramatically and ironically tragic, finding it strangely beautiful but still depressing. The music of a few of the songs was like that, but the words were quite satirical and humorous, making it all the better.
And finally, here's this weeks (and last week's) quotes (even though they both happened just now). Caitlin after getting the riddle wrong:
Caitlin: #$%&#$%&$%*&$%^%^$#$^#
Caitlin: %$&$%$*$%*^$%*$*^$%*^&%^$$@#@
IndubitablyDyl: wow
Caitlin: yep
IndubitablyDyl: You sound quite irritated
Caitlin: yep
Caitlin: you'd better run tomorrow
But things got better, and she tried to get by through flattery:
Caitlin: Dylan, you're such a hunk.
Then she rapidly degenerated into bribery and threats saying:
Caitlin:Winning is Fun.
Caitlin: But Cheating to win is delicious.
(These are barely edited, folks!) And there you have it.
Well, that's all for today. Heck, that should be all for the week! (You wish...)
On another note, I went to that farce of a initiation in the National Honors Society. I really don't understand the need for them, but I go along like the rest of the flock because it's not worth protesting (although I do regret not writing my typical "Washington Irving" in the sign-in book thing). On the bright side, I got to mingle with my homies, which I rather enjoyed. It was rather strange, seeing as how I was intoxicated on the atmosphere (I think; maybe Conatser spiked the lemonade). But it was kinda fun; just inspired me to pursue the board game thing more (much better than any stupid movie or other social event). I mean really; who can refuse an all night 4 player Stratego extravanganza.
Thirdly (yes, it's that kind of a day), I borrowed Weird Al's new CD (even though it's been out quite a few monthes) from The Sugue. I enjoyed it. I have a flair for the dramatically and ironically tragic, finding it strangely beautiful but still depressing. The music of a few of the songs was like that, but the words were quite satirical and humorous, making it all the better.
And finally, here's this weeks (and last week's) quotes (even though they both happened just now). Caitlin after getting the riddle wrong:
Caitlin: #$%&#$%&$%*&$%^%^$#$^#
Caitlin: %$&$%$*$%*^$%*$*^$%*^&%^$$@#@
IndubitablyDyl: wow
Caitlin: yep
IndubitablyDyl: You sound quite irritated
Caitlin: yep
Caitlin: you'd better run tomorrow
But things got better, and she tried to get by through flattery:
Caitlin: Dylan, you're such a hunk.
Then she rapidly degenerated into bribery and threats saying:
Caitlin:Winning is Fun.
Caitlin: But Cheating to win is delicious.
(These are barely edited, folks!) And there you have it.
Well, that's all for today. Heck, that should be all for the week! (You wish...)
Sunday, November 16
Riddle #4
Frozen with no snow or ice;
A moment sold for a price;
Real, imagined, some of each,
Reality’s frame it does often breach.
All sorts of action, but of movement none;
It can render shadows brilliant or darken the sun.
Full of emotion, yet it never feels;
A deeper message it often deals.
What you see, someone else may not:
Life’s great meaning or an ink blot?
If ages old, it’s timeless still.
Know the answer? Then please tell Dyl!
Well, another week another riddle. I didn't get around to a very hard one (again), but maybe next week. Interest seems to be waning, which is alright, more glory for the three of you still answering! The scores thus far are Derek 5, Elizabeth G. 5, Caitlin 5, The Sugue 3, Martha 2, Melissa 2, Lee 1, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1.
I'll delay the answer time limit again, just because I can. But at any moment, I may decide to enforce it (I'm tricky, ya know). Anywho, time for some Pre-Cal. Unenthusiastic "yays" for everyone!
A moment sold for a price;
Real, imagined, some of each,
Reality’s frame it does often breach.
All sorts of action, but of movement none;
It can render shadows brilliant or darken the sun.
Full of emotion, yet it never feels;
A deeper message it often deals.
What you see, someone else may not:
Life’s great meaning or an ink blot?
If ages old, it’s timeless still.
Know the answer? Then please tell Dyl!
Well, another week another riddle. I didn't get around to a very hard one (again), but maybe next week. Interest seems to be waning, which is alright, more glory for the three of you still answering! The scores thus far are Derek 5, Elizabeth G. 5, Caitlin 5, The Sugue 3, Martha 2, Melissa 2, Lee 1, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1.
I'll delay the answer time limit again, just because I can. But at any moment, I may decide to enforce it (I'm tricky, ya know). Anywho, time for some Pre-Cal. Unenthusiastic "yays" for everyone!
Saturday, November 15
Bored Games
On another note, now that West is out of the playoffs, I need something to do Friday nights. Well, actually I need something to do any night, but I particularly like Friday Nights more than most others. So I thought "What would be the best thing to do when bored?" Then, I thought "What is wrong with society today?" After the initial overload and feelings of hopeless for the future of mankind, I thought of the answer to at least one question. "I know, play a Bored Game!" I know, I know, you're groaning from literary pain. Sorry for the pun, but the point remains.
Now, unless I can find some dark alley corner or a phat pad, actually playing an actual game might be an exercise in hopeless futility. So it might be a nice idea to make use of this wonderful waste of time we call Al Gore's internet (yes, I know his quote is just taken out of context and he didn't say it, but it's still fun to point fun at). Using yahoo, or playsite, or whatever works, I'd like to at least get 4 people. If more doubtfully and foolishly show interest, we can have mini-tournaments. So, if you'd be interested in playing some sort of game online (ie spades, monopoly, Go Fish, what have you) or in whatever plane of existence you so desire on a semi-regular basis, speak up. If you don't know how to play anything, I'm sure you can learn.
Although most of my ideas like this fail miserably, I figure I can go ahead and give it a shot. I can't look much crazier and foolish than I already do. Right?
Now, unless I can find some dark alley corner or a phat pad, actually playing an actual game might be an exercise in hopeless futility. So it might be a nice idea to make use of this wonderful waste of time we call Al Gore's internet (yes, I know his quote is just taken out of context and he didn't say it, but it's still fun to point fun at). Using yahoo, or playsite, or whatever works, I'd like to at least get 4 people. If more doubtfully and foolishly show interest, we can have mini-tournaments. So, if you'd be interested in playing some sort of game online (ie spades, monopoly, Go Fish, what have you) or in whatever plane of existence you so desire on a semi-regular basis, speak up. If you don't know how to play anything, I'm sure you can learn.
Although most of my ideas like this fail miserably, I figure I can go ahead and give it a shot. I can't look much crazier and foolish than I already do. Right?
Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dead
Well I just thought I should inform those who don't know that I am, in fact, the Evil Twin. During elementary school and early Middle School, the Good Twin was the one making the calls. He was generally a happy kid, albeit often stressed. Rathey shy, liked to tell jokes, read quite a bit, ate at least two meals a day, had a few bursts of anger (a few homicide attempts), but that was just venting. Then, he got frustrated during middle school (That's a tragedy for another day). So, in a moment of his weakness, I knocked him over the head with a dictionary and tossed his body in the river (along with a bag full of kittens I just happened to have). Since then, I've been calling the shots. Cynical, foolish, on a purposeless hunger strike, sometimes downright odd, apathetic, evil puppy kicker extraordinare that's me.
Sometimes I wonder if Good Twin is still out there, trying to come back. Perhaps after I've gained full domination of the world, he'll show up in the whole hero-bravado thing and try to take me out from my perch of power (even though the world will be in a general utopia; some people are just silly like that). Then we'll have an epic all out struggle, judgment day, the apocalypse, yada yada, and then I'll win again. It's a vicious cycle.
Sometimes I wonder if Good Twin is still out there, trying to come back. Perhaps after I've gained full domination of the world, he'll show up in the whole hero-bravado thing and try to take me out from my perch of power (even though the world will be in a general utopia; some people are just silly like that). Then we'll have an epic all out struggle, judgment day, the apocalypse, yada yada, and then I'll win again. It's a vicious cycle.
Wednesday, November 12
Can you really blackmail the time-space continuum?
I wondered that myself this morning, as I rushed to school having woken up at 8:10 and left the house at 8:14. Now, normally it takes around 17-20 minutes to get to school. Still, I managed to get to school and would have been in the English door if they didn't have the side doors locked. So, even though I walked in 3seconds after the bell rang, I did not sign in on the principal of door redundancy (and because I didn't want to be late).
I was still shocked that I had made it on time (sorta). I can only conclude that the guys at the time-space continuum decided to lend a hand. Now, for those who don't know, the employees of "Time/Space Incorporated" (as they're sometimes called) are all real jerks. For instance, that whole watched pot thing, that's them. The whole "one more mile and I'm there" thing, that's them. They're just not nice. Some say it's because of the strain of the work, others say it's because they never get any recognition, most people just say "Dylan, there are no beings working the time-space continuum, now get back in your padded room and start throwing yourself at the walls again."
Now you may be asking "But Dylan, why does life exist?" If you are indeed asking that, then you haven't been paying attention. If you are paying attention, you might be wondering how I managed to get the time-space continuum distorted. Well, you see, I've got some dirt on the whole thing. My "radical ideas" seem so incredibly impossible, that they make perfect sense thus they have the ability to shake the very foundations of existence. So, they cut me a little slack to save their jobs and so they won't have to clean up the mess (How else do you think Neptune got created? Someone made a major mistake there, believe you me).
And there you have it. Until next time or space or plane or whatever.
I was still shocked that I had made it on time (sorta). I can only conclude that the guys at the time-space continuum decided to lend a hand. Now, for those who don't know, the employees of "Time/Space Incorporated" (as they're sometimes called) are all real jerks. For instance, that whole watched pot thing, that's them. The whole "one more mile and I'm there" thing, that's them. They're just not nice. Some say it's because of the strain of the work, others say it's because they never get any recognition, most people just say "Dylan, there are no beings working the time-space continuum, now get back in your padded room and start throwing yourself at the walls again."
Now you may be asking "But Dylan, why does life exist?" If you are indeed asking that, then you haven't been paying attention. If you are paying attention, you might be wondering how I managed to get the time-space continuum distorted. Well, you see, I've got some dirt on the whole thing. My "radical ideas" seem so incredibly impossible, that they make perfect sense thus they have the ability to shake the very foundations of existence. So, they cut me a little slack to save their jobs and so they won't have to clean up the mess (How else do you think Neptune got created? Someone made a major mistake there, believe you me).
And there you have it. Until next time or space or plane or whatever.
Monday, November 10
Riddle #3
Ally of downtrodden, it gives the weakest a chance;
A much needed fuel for an optimist's stance.
It lends even the worst off a reason to live,
A chance for a better future is what it does give.
The young usually have it, but it fades after time,
It still provides quite a boost through life's arduous climb.
But the higher you climb, the greater your fall,
If you stake too much, you just might lose it all.
Alone it is useless, just the substance of dream,
With determination it forms a powerful team.
It inspires progress, improvement, success
You might need a lot, to interpret this mess.
Well, better late than never. Sorry for the delay; perhaps I'll eventually get around to writing them ahead of time. At any rate, I finally did get it done, and that's what matters. As a note, for the confused reader, "this mess" refers to the riddle not the answer and "with determination" means along with the idea determination, not how it forms the "team", (I know some of you have a tizzy about that sort of thing).
As for the standings, last week's riddle was worth 2 points for a certain answer, one point for the weaker, not a focused or concentrated answer (IM me if you're confused). So here they are, in no particular order: Derek 3, Elizabeth G. 3, Caitlin 3, Martha 2, Melissa 2, The Sugue 1, Lee 1, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1.
It's still not too late to answer for this week's and last week's riddles. If you haven't please do so soon. I'll still accept the answers until next Monday, after which I'll start enforcing a week long limit (if you do answer after that, you can still get half credit).
That's all, for now.
A much needed fuel for an optimist's stance.
It lends even the worst off a reason to live,
A chance for a better future is what it does give.
The young usually have it, but it fades after time,
It still provides quite a boost through life's arduous climb.
But the higher you climb, the greater your fall,
If you stake too much, you just might lose it all.
Alone it is useless, just the substance of dream,
With determination it forms a powerful team.
It inspires progress, improvement, success
You might need a lot, to interpret this mess.
Well, better late than never. Sorry for the delay; perhaps I'll eventually get around to writing them ahead of time. At any rate, I finally did get it done, and that's what matters. As a note, for the confused reader, "this mess" refers to the riddle not the answer and "with determination" means along with the idea determination, not how it forms the "team", (I know some of you have a tizzy about that sort of thing).
As for the standings, last week's riddle was worth 2 points for a certain answer, one point for the weaker, not a focused or concentrated answer (IM me if you're confused). So here they are, in no particular order: Derek 3, Elizabeth G. 3, Caitlin 3, Martha 2, Melissa 2, The Sugue 1, Lee 1, Elizabeth E. 1, Kelly 1.
It's still not too late to answer for this week's and last week's riddles. If you haven't please do so soon. I'll still accept the answers until next Monday, after which I'll start enforcing a week long limit (if you do answer after that, you can still get half credit).
That's all, for now.
Sunday, November 9
The Rebels Went Down to Cleveland
Well, last night was rather interesting. I remembered to bring gloves so, unlike last time, my hands did not turn into the hands of Death itself and burn with the fires that can only be found in the coldest of cold (very minimal frostbite recovery pains, for those less dramatically inclined). And, of course, we won. For those who missed it, you missed a good game.
One of the strange things about High School games is that I don't pay attention to them constantly. Usually I'll pay attention through the first quarter or so, get distracted through the second, talk to the band in the third, and pay attention in the fourth. Last night was no different. I was summoned to Martha and Cathy's side to participate in "cute" "clever" word plays such as "My Little Chinese Take-Out", "My Danish Danish", "My Mexican Jumping Bean", etc. Now, I'm as much a fan as plays on words as the next guy, but after awhile even I have my limit. Apparently they don't. So, after numerous escape attempts involving flares, jail breaks, and a whole lot of confetti, a decoy presented herself and I jumped the razor-sharp, electric fence, got past the heat-seeking guard kittens, and evaded the Acid-shooting Helicopters to make my get-away into the bright horizon. Well, I may have exaggerated a bit, and it really wasn't that bad, but nevertheless, it's still based on truth I tells ya!
The Pep Bus was also slightly interesting. Now, most of you who come here can generally go along with whatever crazy, rambling, random, nonsensical conversations I come up with. To the uninitiated, I just seem crazy (no, I know what I said. You don't have to point out the flaws and or irony). I believe I've convinced Michael Winston (a former Northwestern, such as myself. Once you've been through that horror, you lose a piece of your soul!) that I am just that. Now, I can't be sure, but he gave me quite a few "Riiiiggghhhtttt" looks. I mean, I only talked about the right way to found and use a cult and the ethics of hobo killing (one is an accident, two is a public service, three is a serial killing, yada yada). He didn't go along with it as well as I'm sure some of you would have, but he didn't mace and/or maul me either.
Anyway, I should be posting a riddle later today or tomorrow (my sister created a violent take-over while I was writing this so although it was started Saturday, it's being posted Sunday). I don't want to make Sunday's post super long, we'll just have to see how things go. Until next time...
One of the strange things about High School games is that I don't pay attention to them constantly. Usually I'll pay attention through the first quarter or so, get distracted through the second, talk to the band in the third, and pay attention in the fourth. Last night was no different. I was summoned to Martha and Cathy's side to participate in "cute" "clever" word plays such as "My Little Chinese Take-Out", "My Danish Danish", "My Mexican Jumping Bean", etc. Now, I'm as much a fan as plays on words as the next guy, but after awhile even I have my limit. Apparently they don't. So, after numerous escape attempts involving flares, jail breaks, and a whole lot of confetti, a decoy presented herself and I jumped the razor-sharp, electric fence, got past the heat-seeking guard kittens, and evaded the Acid-shooting Helicopters to make my get-away into the bright horizon. Well, I may have exaggerated a bit, and it really wasn't that bad, but nevertheless, it's still based on truth I tells ya!
The Pep Bus was also slightly interesting. Now, most of you who come here can generally go along with whatever crazy, rambling, random, nonsensical conversations I come up with. To the uninitiated, I just seem crazy (no, I know what I said. You don't have to point out the flaws and or irony). I believe I've convinced Michael Winston (a former Northwestern, such as myself. Once you've been through that horror, you lose a piece of your soul!) that I am just that. Now, I can't be sure, but he gave me quite a few "Riiiiggghhhtttt" looks. I mean, I only talked about the right way to found and use a cult and the ethics of hobo killing (one is an accident, two is a public service, three is a serial killing, yada yada). He didn't go along with it as well as I'm sure some of you would have, but he didn't mace and/or maul me either.
Anyway, I should be posting a riddle later today or tomorrow (my sister created a violent take-over while I was writing this so although it was started Saturday, it's being posted Sunday). I don't want to make Sunday's post super long, we'll just have to see how things go. Until next time...
Thursday, November 6
I can make titles?
Well, at the suggestion of The Sugue, I've decided to write about something that relates in no way to my day today. Keep in mind, I do realize that as soon as I start writing about it, it has taken a part of my day and therefore is void. Try to ignore the paradoxes, oxymorons, and giant waffles and you'll do fine."
After minimal deliberation, I've decided Ross Perot has had no affect on my day, up to this point. Yes, that's right. Ross Perot. For those who don't know him, he's the big-eared, Texas billionaire who ran for president in 1992 and 1996 as an independent and got 19% and 8% of the popular vote, respectively.
Now, one interesting thing about Ross is he's crazy. He's pretty much admitted it. He's obssessive, paranoid, and all sorts of cooky things you can find if you search google long enough (ain't unsupported sources fun!). Really, I'm rather surprised he hasn't expanded towards world domination. I wouldn't be that surprised if he has a secret volcano lair deep in the heart of Texas where he oversees his minions and plots our eventual Doom.
So Ross, from me to you, good luck. I'll be there to take over when the voices start telling you to polka with that pink wildebeast that just walked in the back door your car doesn't have.
And, for lack of anything better, here's this week's Best IM quote (you people really need to think out of the box more when you talk to me!):
Kelly: Whoa, setting off a nuclear warhead with a paw sounds like quite a feat.
After minimal deliberation, I've decided Ross Perot has had no affect on my day, up to this point. Yes, that's right. Ross Perot. For those who don't know him, he's the big-eared, Texas billionaire who ran for president in 1992 and 1996 as an independent and got 19% and 8% of the popular vote, respectively.
Now, one interesting thing about Ross is he's crazy. He's pretty much admitted it. He's obssessive, paranoid, and all sorts of cooky things you can find if you search google long enough (ain't unsupported sources fun!). Really, I'm rather surprised he hasn't expanded towards world domination. I wouldn't be that surprised if he has a secret volcano lair deep in the heart of Texas where he oversees his minions and plots our eventual Doom.
So Ross, from me to you, good luck. I'll be there to take over when the voices start telling you to polka with that pink wildebeast that just walked in the back door your car doesn't have.
And, for lack of anything better, here's this week's Best IM quote (you people really need to think out of the box more when you talk to me!):
Kelly: Whoa, setting off a nuclear warhead with a paw sounds like quite a feat.
Wednesday, November 5
Well, I must be some sort of prophet because it seems that I know myself entirely too well. Indeed, our rally was today and, of course, I had a subconscious panic attack. They amaze and confound me. Not only are they completely irrational, but they work in such strange ways. I falter over simple words, skip entire sentences, and my mind is a general state of confusion, even though I can't tell exactly what's wrong. Even despite all of my experience in the spotlight (albeit, not that much, but enough that I wouldn't expect such a radical reaction), I still have panic attacks. Derek and Zaq didn't appear to have that problem, maybe they know the secret to success. Go figure.
Anywho, not much else happened today. I did obtain a few good ideas for future rhymes (such as "Ode to the Parentheses"), and they may show up sometime soon. Or they may go the way of the passenger pigeon and deliver a few pizzas before venturing to the big bird house in the sky (and by that, I mean Big Bird's rooftop appartment). Happy Time Wasting!
Anywho, not much else happened today. I did obtain a few good ideas for future rhymes (such as "Ode to the Parentheses"), and they may show up sometime soon. Or they may go the way of the passenger pigeon and deliver a few pizzas before venturing to the big bird house in the sky (and by that, I mean Big Bird's rooftop appartment). Happy Time Wasting!
Tuesday, November 4
Well, I suppose the band folks will be back today (barring any inexplicable warps in the time-space continuum or penguin air-raids[I Told You Not To Feed Them!!!]). I suppose I'll begrudgingly acknowledge their existence, (although I might pretend Carrie's not back for a few more days, just to maintain at least a semblance of tranquility). Anywho, I'm glad you guys are back (or will be, by the time you read this). Silence is alright for awhile, but eventually it gets rebellious and tries to get you to do things like go outside, clean house, or something else equally (and horribly) productive. For a supposedly mute idea, it sure does demand a lot!
On another note, tomorrow's the History rally. I don't really know the educational value of it, but someone's got to be JQ. So I'll go there, make my nervous, fumbling speech in my shoddy, impromptu costume, and then stand there awkwardly and wait for the blasted thing to end. How many times has that happened before? (And yes, that's a rhetorical question. You don't need to answer it). So that means I've been Baron Holbach, Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, Blaise Pascal(sorta), the Artist Never Known as Prince, and now John Quincy Adams. There are probably others, but only so many ghosts can haunt me at once.
Well, that about wraps it up for today (other than a haircut and me getting examined/whatever you call it for contacts). Until next time...
On another note, tomorrow's the History rally. I don't really know the educational value of it, but someone's got to be JQ. So I'll go there, make my nervous, fumbling speech in my shoddy, impromptu costume, and then stand there awkwardly and wait for the blasted thing to end. How many times has that happened before? (And yes, that's a rhetorical question. You don't need to answer it). So that means I've been Baron Holbach, Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, Blaise Pascal(sorta), the Artist Never Known as Prince, and now John Quincy Adams. There are probably others, but only so many ghosts can haunt me at once.
Well, that about wraps it up for today (other than a haircut and me getting examined/whatever you call it for contacts). Until next time...
Monday, November 3
Well, at least I got a riddle up. It seems that most of my riddles that aren't terribly flawed are either too easy or impossible. Go figure. As a score update, I've had two right answers and one half-right answer (since it's 12lines, the whole thing is worth 2 points, so I'm giving halfcredit for a certain answer). Ah well, maybe someday I'll make another difficult riddle (I've just had one thus far).
Anywho, I've been stricken by my approximately tri-yearly cold. They're rather annoying little devils, and miserable becomes a permanent state, temporarily. It's times like these where you are able to appreciate all the rest of the time you're not sick or injured or whatever. When you're feeling down and depressed, just think of all the agonizing, annoying, and downright terrible situations you're not in at that particular moment, it can really put things into perspective. For instance "Gee, this math test is tough! How can it possibly get worse? Oh yes, I could be naked, boiling over a molten pit while acid slowly drops onto my feet, and I could have a cold with a migraine headache, and spiders with sharp, itchy legs crawl all over my back, and I could have to listen to free form poetry all at the same time!" So see, it can always get worse. Except in one situation, but if I bring that up, it might just jinx it.
Well, I've got to go get some snot out of my throat! Later!
Anywho, I've been stricken by my approximately tri-yearly cold. They're rather annoying little devils, and miserable becomes a permanent state, temporarily. It's times like these where you are able to appreciate all the rest of the time you're not sick or injured or whatever. When you're feeling down and depressed, just think of all the agonizing, annoying, and downright terrible situations you're not in at that particular moment, it can really put things into perspective. For instance "Gee, this math test is tough! How can it possibly get worse? Oh yes, I could be naked, boiling over a molten pit while acid slowly drops onto my feet, and I could have a cold with a migraine headache, and spiders with sharp, itchy legs crawl all over my back, and I could have to listen to free form poetry all at the same time!" So see, it can always get worse. Except in one situation, but if I bring that up, it might just jinx it.
Well, I've got to go get some snot out of my throat! Later!
Sunday, November 2
Riddle #2
Fuel for an intense fire that rages from within,
The source of many horrors, and the cause of so much sin
Yet still it's brought much good, when targeted at strife,
It's simply part of living, a part of human life.
Many try to stop it, and sometimes they succeed,
Yet to stop injustice, it's something we can need.
An obstacle to peace, this is to be sure,
Many think they're tainted, unless of this they're pure.
Although you may not think it, it shows you really care,
Still when you're the target, you'd rather be elsewhere.
It gives many a life a meaning, strange, and yet it's true;
So tell me what's the answer, and does it afflict you?
Well there you have it. Sort of late, but what are you going to do, fire me? This one may be tough because you may not agree with some of the lines I attribute to the answer. Just remember to look at your ideas from different perspectives, and I don't think this will be too hard. As far as the results for the first week, virtually everyone got it right, although I made one or two allowances since very shortly after I wrote the riddle I went back to change it to make it more specific. The ones who entered (and now have 1), for those who were idly wondering about such trivial things, were Caitlin, Martha, Derek, Lee, THE SUGUE, Melissa, Kelly, Elizabeth G., and Elizabeth E.
For those who haven't sent in an answer, you still have two weeks before I enforce the one week time limit, so send away ( DeepFriedDyl@comcast.net).
(The last riddle was on Friday, October 24 if you want to look in the archives).
Fuel for an intense fire that rages from within,
The source of many horrors, and the cause of so much sin
Yet still it's brought much good, when targeted at strife,
It's simply part of living, a part of human life.
Many try to stop it, and sometimes they succeed,
Yet to stop injustice, it's something we can need.
An obstacle to peace, this is to be sure,
Many think they're tainted, unless of this they're pure.
Although you may not think it, it shows you really care,
Still when you're the target, you'd rather be elsewhere.
It gives many a life a meaning, strange, and yet it's true;
So tell me what's the answer, and does it afflict you?
Well there you have it. Sort of late, but what are you going to do, fire me? This one may be tough because you may not agree with some of the lines I attribute to the answer. Just remember to look at your ideas from different perspectives, and I don't think this will be too hard. As far as the results for the first week, virtually everyone got it right, although I made one or two allowances since very shortly after I wrote the riddle I went back to change it to make it more specific. The ones who entered (and now have 1), for those who were idly wondering about such trivial things, were Caitlin, Martha, Derek, Lee, THE SUGUE, Melissa, Kelly, Elizabeth G., and Elizabeth E.
For those who haven't sent in an answer, you still have two weeks before I enforce the one week time limit, so send away ( DeepFriedDyl@comcast.net).
(The last riddle was on Friday, October 24 if you want to look in the archives).