Sweeping the Dirt under the

Carpet. Yes, the carpet. It looked at me with a gaze that could mollify tuna. Yes, tuna. Not a bad tuna, but one that kept going on and on in my head until I finally killed it. Killed it. JUST LIKE I'M GOING TO KILL THIS CARPET. And so the dance began. Parry. Thrust. Parry. Jab JAB JABJABJAB HACK HACK HACKITY HACK HACK STAB! Then it occured to me that not only can a carpet not fence, I can't hurt anything with a rubber wombat as my weapon. So I discard the wombat and grab a lamp. A lamp. Some hold genies, this one held a Halogen bulb that BURNED BURNED BURNED!!! BURNED LIKE THE SOUL OF A DISCO FIEND! Fiend. Yes. I brandished the lamp at the carpet. It catches fire. Fire?! FIRE!!! FIRE!!! RUN!!! Oh why didn't I pay attention during the pre-movie safety briefing!? WHY?!!?!?!? Why not? Because I'm going to burn not! Burn. Carpet. On fire. I win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *COUGH*. Dear sweet mother of Pearl... Pearl. Yes, pearl. From an oyster. Oyster live in the sea. I see. No I don't, there's too much smoke! FIRE! No, we've done that. Or have we? Yes. No. Maybe so. ROUND&ROUND&ROUND we go where we stop nobody no's. Oh yes they do. No Smoking. I am Smoking. WRONG!