of my future self. That's what Mr. Ross almost seems like. Obviously there are some differences. Determinism, my grandiloquence, my aimed for virtue, not to mention Mr. Ross's assumed "alternate lifestyle." But his lifestyle/predicament seems to be me.
It really is intriguing to hear different people's takes on him. Because it's like a different way of looking at myself. He's got the same cyclical/likely chemical imbalance that I have. "He's depressed" is an understatement. I dunno, for you Christians it's impossible to really understand it. You don't know pain and isolation until you leave the ideas of God, Heaven, and Hell behind. To know this really is it, it's terrible. I won't try to convince you, though I ought to. Suffice it to say that existentialism can only be made worse with determinism. Oh, lucky me... (Yes, the two can go together; I might explain it if anyone's actually interested).
And I'm falling into the trap. I don't know what I'll do to keep my sanity in my later years. Now I can look forward to something, but when the monotany becomes too much... The grim realization that I will be a nameless anonymity condemned to loneliness by my own hand for the rest of my natural existence isn't reassuring. Maybe I'm looking too far ahead... Or maybe I'm a Mr. Ross dead on. Meh, we'll see. Won't we?
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