Waiting

Well, I'm waiting. Waiting for the appropriate time to start reading Mr. Agee. I've got to finish it today in order to keep up with a long forsaken schedule. Then there's bandcamp tomorrow and I think all our rain was just used up. I'm going to melt. It will be a joyous occasion for all, I'm sure, when I burst into flames and run screaming in circles. At least a good 5 minute break. Even a train can't buy that sort of reprieve.

Bleh, so many returns... I do believe my angst is returning. Of course, that could also be a combination of my undone homework and the impending deadline. I can never do anything remotely productive while procrastinating. So I'm left awash, drifting from one temporary amusement to the next. But I can't really enjoy any of them because that small little grinding, bobbing weight keeps alerting me of what I ought to be doing.

I've decided I lack perspective. I'm too open-minded. I can't stand by anything without having doubts fire assault after assault at its tremulous bastions. Maybe college will help. Hmph. I just need something to fire me up. Right now I'm dead inside. Thus I've resorted to listening to religious music. However much I dislike the religion, Christianity does have some nice music. I dunno, maybe I feed off the faith of others since I'm incapable of having it. Faith in God, others, myself. Sort of like a lamprey.

Well, time to swim off. I've still work to do. Always more work it seems. But things are looking up! Just because I say so. Hoo-ah!