Love

I love her and she loves me, entwined for all eternity.
Oh joy of joys! Oh bliss of bliss! How I embrace her every kiss!
Never alone, never in pain; this happiness I can’t contain!
Her voice, her eyes, her shining face all put each Angel to disgrace!
How could I live before she came? How could I think without her name?
All else is her, she’s all I see; I’ll always love her and she will me.

And then, I wake.
A dream. A dream. Always a dream!
Everything you see or seem!
No, a dream’s too nice a word.
It implies joy, oh how absurd!
Nightmare! Now that fits the bill!
It’s apt for sure, it’s just Fate’s will.
I did not choose to dream that lie!
Why won’t it leave, why won’t it die?
It haunts me, every night and day;
A disgusting monster I cannot slay.
I cry and scream; I fight and moan,
I grovel to its’ corpse-built throne.
I beg, I plea, “Just go away!
I’ll watch next time my idle play!
Please, please, please just let me be!
I just want peace, I just want free…”
Not a word is said or done,
The fight is lost, I turn and run.
I know not where I run, but do.
I must escape, escape from you.
And yet I tire, for I am man…

I am alone.
The gray is also here.
It left once, to go get milk.
I think I told it to go.
But it came back.
Swirling voids my playmates.
We waltz to a band, serenading others that do not matter.
They do not care.
Neither do we.
For we are alone.

I wake…
Love! Oh blessed love return!
Reject me not, my heart doth yearn!
How could I say you were untrue?
How could I say I hated you?
Lies! All lies! I love you so!
Return to me! Please do not go!
Just please leave me not alone
to dance with death in monotone!
I desire joy, not emptiness!
Please, dear love, retrieve my bliss…
I try, but I’ve run out…

She does not care.
She never will.
She pays no mind.
She did, until
Time passed on,
Off it did go!
Oh blessed time,
You go so slow.
Then she stopped.
An ambush kill.
She loves not me.
I love her still.

I wake…
Dear God, what have I done!
I give my life, I run and run!
Where is my answer? No, I repeal.
Where is my love? My love that's real!
I’ll not play your petty game.
I shall not dance, I am not tame.
You did this to me! I know twas you!
Do not deny! You know it’s true!
So finish the deed! End it at last!
I’ll search no more! I quit…this…cast.

Now. Then. Forever. I sleep.