You Can Call Me Al

Which one, though, I'm not sure.

Paul Simon's Al has a romantic flair, but he's a copout. He's like James Bond before you get the results back from the clinic. He's your "long lost pal." But maybe he's lost for a reason? Or maybe I do need to find him again. I mean, I do need a photo-oppurtunity and to stop wondering where my wife and family are. I need to get up and find them! Then again, I hate calling anyone anything because I hate phones.

Then there's J. Alfred Prufrock. T.S. Eltiot (!) 's homeboy. Frankly, the man's a bore. I feel sorry for him. And then, I realize the parallels and feel a tad sorry for myself. And then I have a good cry, listen to NYSNC, and call up my best girlfriend to talk about boys for an hour. Then the sinking realization of my actions attacks me like a waffle iron attacks postmen, and I regret I sold my gun for a kitten and a dream. Unfortunately, the dream involved eating small, cute, fuzzy marshmallows, so the kitten didn't last long. Suffice it to say, I am neither Hamlet, Prufrock, or Richard Simmons, and I'm incredibly thankful for that.

Finally, there's Al Sharpton. Al came to speak tonight and was absolutely incredible. Sometimes he didn't make much sense, but he was a great speaker. I loved part of his speech that basically equated to "Al Sharpton: Fighting For Your Right To Go To Hell." It, like most things, made me want to get started teaching. After seeing Maya Angelou and Mr. Sharpton, I think I've got enough evidence to counter any black kid who says "I can't succeed." Both Angelou and Sharpton were inspiring, well spoken, and intelligent. And they *gasp* communicated well! Why, it's almost as if communication skills are important! I think I've found a teaching tool ;). But anyway, Al wanted to stand for something. What do I stand for? I'm not brave enough to directly achieve social change. I can't even ask a girl out. BUT I'll do my part through years of service corr...educating the youth of the future. That ought to be enough.

So which Al am I? I don't really know. I want to be an individual. Dylan Meggs, a character who makes an impression upon you. I don't think I'm there yet. I use words in fairly witty ways, but I'm not defined. That might take a few years. I've got time to develop. Hopefully I can have fun doing it.

Oh, by the way, this morning my Physics teacher started getting angry at buoyancy. It wasn't an experiment or anything. It was as if the concept infuriated him. What did buoyancy do to him? I guess he is German, and therefore naturally prone to anger. But I still wonder what the therapy session would go like....

Prof. Spanier: And zen zee ice... zee ice floated upon zee water! And I... I ...
Therapist: It's ok, Stefan, take your time.
Prof. Spanier: But it ez how zeze thingz vurk! I cannot fight zee physics!
Therapist: We'll fight it Stefan. We'll fight it. Together.
Prof. Spanier: NOW IS ZEE TIME IN PHYZICS 101 VEN VE DANCE!!!


(I sure hope some of you caught that reference. Anyway, no new list items. Better luck tomorrow, eh?)