He's a mean one,

But he's got the right idea. Yes, I think it's about time I made my official Christmas rant. So sit back, relax, and skim this amazing block of thinly veiled laziness.

Alright, where to begin... I don't hate Christmas. I hate the modern idea of Christmas. Basically it's a holiday about gifts, for gifts, by...um... fat, rich, white men. That's not really fair though. I just think the idea that there is a designated time of year for "happiness", "cheer", and "giving" is a tad... ludicrous. For crying out loud, doesn't there seem something innately wrong about a holiday that supports being kind to others? We shouldn't need one! Everyone should do the sorts of things the do on Christmas year round. Jesus would rather have that than an annual birthday celebration I'm sure.

And then there's the problem of gifts. I hate gifts. Giving and receiving them. The whole practice and the popular perceptions of it oozes materialism and guilt. I don't want anyone to give me anything. Really. Whatever someone gives me will probably just go in a closet or trashcan or where-ever and I'll never use it again. Everything I actually want I'll buy myself, and I daresay this applies to most everyone else. The only people this doesn't work for are children, and parents ought to institute some sort of allowance policy to teach them about saving and fiscal responsibility instead of laying on a hoard of gifts they'll grow bored of in three weeks at once. Personally I'd prefer a "I appreciate everything you are for me. I don't say it much, but you do mean a lot to me." And I don't need to wait til Christmas to do that (speaking of which, I probably should do that sometime soon... remind me somebody). Which is another point. Why do we wait til Christmas to give gifts? If you insist on giving presents, don't wait til an "established day." Do it on a whim. Make it a surprise. Think of others year-round. That alleviates guilt because it's a complete surprise; you're not expected to return a spontaneous gift. And guilt is a big issue at Christmas. People give all these gifts and the receivers feel cheap or heartless or whatever when they don't return the favor. It's a pointless cycle of materialism.

I'm not too much of a Scrooge or Grinch. The former was miserly and compassionless, the latter bitter and lonely. I just don't think Christmas is a healthy idea. Instead, try to keep notions of generosity, happiness, and appreciation with you all year round. Randomly write poems for people. Do favors others may never know about just because you're a nice person. Give gifts because you want to, not because you ought to.

Alrigh, I'm done preaching. That was pretty painless, eh? I didn't even go off on much of a tangent about how material goods won't make you happy too. But there you are. So, in closing, have happy holidays, happy lives year round, and stay warm! Cheers!