Beauty

It's amazing. Everything. And nothing. I just watched "American Beauty" and although it wasn't exactly mind-blowing since it focuses on issues I think about quite often, in typical Dylan fashion I was moved, inspired (two or three more chapters worth! woohoo!), and quite effected. Oh, and envious as usual. I'm writing my novel next semester because it will be fun, of course, but also, as you all know, because I want the power that these things have. I want to move people. I want to create something that so profoundly effects a person all they can really say is "It's beautiful." Certainly there are themes, symbolically, behind everything. . But the ride there is more important. If it wasn't then I'd just flat out state them.

*sigh* I get inspired like this and, in the heat of the moment, I think , " This is good. This is a really good idea. This... this has got to be moving," and I can't wait to write it. The enthusiasm will fade, but I hope the quality of the idea won't. I want to give these ideas justice. I really do. I want to make you all laugh, cry, and smile warmly at least once. If I accomplish that, I'll consider it a success. Ok, maybe crying's a bit much (can you picture a tear-ed up Sugue? I can't!), but I'll settle for a deep, mellow, beautiful sadness. For, to me, beauty is that power. Or maybe because I've been moved the creation that moved me becomes beautiful. I don't know. I just know that I want to create it. It's the ambition deep within my soul. You thought it was dead. I know, I did too. But I want power. I crave it. But not over actions. I want power of emotions. I don't want it forced, though. I want to earn it. I just have to hope I'm up to the task...

Oh, I also think it's interesting how movies are so moving. Movies are the true example of what's important about music. Plot is great for movies, but music is the part that makes things beautiful. You don't notice it. It's quietly in the background, but it's working magic. That's a serious drawback of the novel, the lack of music. An author has a hard time working on your subconscious without you noticing. When it's achieved they call it "mood", or at least I would if I was them. Ah well. Hopefully I'm better at this stuff than I think I am. That will depend a lot upon you. But you'll find all that out in May. Wish me luck!