Heh, don't ya love a good rant? I sure don't. But it does help you figure out what you believe. The funny thing is, everything you say in that semi-infuriated state isn't the entire truth of your belief-structure. It's an aspect of it, and only on later retrospective do you notice the flaws, chinks, and compromises you yourself make.
Such is the case with yesterday's rant (and if you missed it, I'd read it first, go save a half dozen orphans from a burning building, donate 5% of your yearly income to charity, and then read this). I try to follow what I said below. And it sounds justified. It doesn't invade on anyone else, it is almost purely involving the self. Thus, the self is the only one hurt. But hypocrisy and the ignorance of it will usually manage to poke its ugly head up. I don't really mind hypocrisy, generally. Obviously when it directly violates someone else it's not acceptable. But when you do something the opposite of your professed beliefs and recognize it (and don't try to hide it) I can generally stand it. There's no deception involved. But what's really annoying is unrecognized hypocrisy. When you do something contrary to your beliefs and don't even know it. It happens to all of us, me possibly more than others because I simply have a fragmented mind that can't actively process all information available, so it does it in select doses that makes sense at the time, but later seem quite wrong. When I do something hypocritical, I'd like to be alerted. And if it involves me/bothers me I'd like to alert others. Sometimes we just don't realize what we're doing. But after you've shot the flare, the next phase travels into dangerous waters. On the one hand, you can see the hypocrisy, apologize/remunerate and try to not repeat your mistake. Or, you can decide your actions are not hypocritical. In a subjective reality, it's often quite true that what one person sees as contrary to a stated belief could comply with it by another's definition. Defend your stance and stand by it. It's when you're wrong and refuse to recognize/realize that you get into trouble. But hopefully that situation is quite rare.
But speaking of troubled waters, the theme I tried to address yesterday (in a somewhat cursory manner, time restraints and whatnot. Which, while I'm on, I'll say Abby's refusal to follow the rules in Apples to Apples last night was deplorable. Just because Caitlin requested it. See! Make comments, get results! You should follow that more often, especially in Perse! Anyway...). I stated yesterday that the best course of actions (and although I acknowledge "best" is subjective, I came down rather single-minded yesterday) is to only involve/worry yourself in your actions. However, although it sounds good in theory, most of you should know theory rarely works in reality. It is a rather Rand-y view (The idea of everyman for himself simply won't work, but that's another entry). But when care and concern for your fellow man (or fe-man hehe) comes into play, it's a whole different ballgame. And it's like travelling through the fog in sunglasses. Even if you think you see the light, it's hard to tell which direction to head, especially without bumping into something (like a conveniently placed bayonet) or falling off something (a horse, a stool, the Empire State Building). What you think is in someone's best interests may be very wrong. You may only aggrivate the situation. But then there are times when orphans are in that burning building, when the nuns are in the broken down school bus on the way to the bank right in front of a rehab clinic, when someone's addicted to something harmful that you need to step in. Helping your fellow man, even when he doesn't see the harm he's doing to himself, is an admirable thing to do. You just have to be absolutely sure you'd not only want the same thing to be done to you in his situation, but also that you really believe what you're doing is solely (or most importantly) in this person's best interests. That's one reason I dislike Hell and eternal punishment so very much because it convinces people to violate other's belief structures in the guise of their best interests. Missionaries mean well (from a non-cynical viewpoint, at least), and I can tolerate some of them as long as they let me return the "enlightened" favor. Of course, if they refuse to listen to your beliefs as well they're just hypocrites. You ought to tell them that, they might be interested in improving their philosophical views once you point that out.
Now, if the snickering is subsided, I'll move on. While mowing the lawn yesterday, I had a revelation of sorts as to where to take Perse. It'll allow a good transition into adding the Lucifer blog, it'll allow me to head in a completely insane direction, it'll fit the Lucifer theme, and hope it'll be amusing and thought provoking at the same time. It might be two entries away, though, but hopefully I'll get something up by Monday.
I also took the ACT test. Math tests are fun. They really are. But only if you have enough time and aren't rushed. I was rushed. ACTs BAD! Eh, just another example of what not to do when teaching. Hhmmm, remind me to write about college sometime. Oh, and tell me to write Perse, I need the encouragement. And write more comments in general, giving more feedback. And give money to charities. Lots of money. To good charities. And change the world. Make it better in general. And play boardgames. Lots of em. Even online. We need to do that. You get on it right now. So enjoy yourself, make others happy without infringing on their personal rights, don't get upset, don't worry, be happy, comment, and read Perse. Those are your missions. At least, until I add more next time...
Saturday, June 12
Friday, June 11
Upset about Upset
You know what bothers me? People getting upset. Now, some upsetness is ok. There are indeed traumatizing experiences (involving violence, terror, your security, your personal wellbeing and the well being of others, and your life in context of whether it means anything and why on earth God won't give you that solid gold question mark for your lawn that you've been praying for every night for 25 years). Getting upset about events that directly affect your life but that you have no control over, that is justifiably upsetting. Doing the same thing to someone else is justifiably upsetting.
But what is not "justifiably upsetting" are what I call "social dramas." So and so says something to so and so who then yells at so and so who turns out to be so and so's (this is the first so and so, by the way) fake pet wildebeest. "Gossip" as I like to call it. My definition of gossip is speaking about someone(s) outside of their presence when it does not involve any of the parties participating in the discussion. If information is volunteered, that's fine. If you're concerned about someone's wellbeing and would like some guidance/help/plan of action/air strike then it's justifiable. But when you're talking about people for purely malicious or entertainment purposes, I find it reprehensible. Do I do it? I certainly try not to. Most of the time I do, it's out of concern. It certainly isn't with malicious intent. I'm pretty tolerant of most people and most ways of life as long as they don't interfere with the lives of others (My only real beef with other philosophies is Hell, because it directly effects parties not involved in that religion (it's the only situation like that I'm aware of). But that's another discussion). But when "speculations" or "hearsay" is transferred with no real relevance to any parties involved, it's just wrong.
That's how these "dramas" generally start(or so I can tell, having never been involved in any to my oh so fragmented recollections). And then, deception begins. I'm bad at deception. I couldn't lie my way out of bed in the morning. And I don't. If you ask me, point blank, any question I'll pretty much answer it. There's 1, maybe 2, things I would feel uncomfortable talking about, but other than that I'm an open-book. Call it a lack of complexity, call it what you will, but I try to follow the creed that if you feel ashamed of something, change it or don't feel bad about it. Either it's justifiable in your eyes and you shouldn't feel bad about it, or you feel it's wrong and should change it for your own wellbeing. What other people think shouldn't matter a bit. I believe it was Dr. Suess who said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." If someone finds what you're doing despicable, then they can deal with it themselves. If you believe it's justified, you have no bad feelings about it (or the positive outweighs the negative), you don't have to change for them. Unless, of course, you want to. But often those people who don't understand and condemn things you feel are perfectly acceptable aren't the type of people you need to hang around anyway.
(I know this is a rant, but that's the second word in the title for crying out loud! I haven't had an actual rant in sometime, bear with me or go get some apple juice and take a nap). If you're completely open and don't feel ashamed of any of the things you do, you've got nothing to worry about. If you do things that you feel bad about and regret, apologize, admit you were wrong, apologize again, and try to learn from your mistake and not repeat it. Whenever feelings start getting hurt, take a step back. Survey the situation. Usually, they're pretty easy to disect. There's no sense in letting tiny, fixable problems turn into horrible beasts. Find the original source. Sit everyone down, tell them to stop worrying so much about everyone else, and put everything out in the open. Sometimes tact is necessary. But sometimes you just have to be firm.
The most important thing to remember is to be happy with who you are. Mold yourself into the individual you want to be. Do some self-searching, think for a change. It might be painful (you've seen me do it), but improve yourself until you've found something that works. If you're content with who you are, nothing can really hurt you. Your opinion is the only one that matters. That's not to say you shouldn't listen to criticism. Try to constantly improve. When someone points out one of your "flaws" look at it. If you find you don't like it, change. If you find it's not a flaw at all, don't. If that person can't look past it, they're probably not worth having around.
It seems I've run out of time, but I'll repeat the credo and the quote because I think they sum things up. If you're ashamed of something, change it or don't be ashamed. And, as Dr. Suess said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (It should be noted that this is true only for your actions that don't affect others. If you do things that have malicious or harmful effects on your fellow man, effects they can't ignore such as abuse verbal and physical, you have a responsibility to change.) Follow those two, and you'll only need to answer to yourself. Unfortunately, you might find you're the most difficult person to deal with of all.
But what is not "justifiably upsetting" are what I call "social dramas." So and so says something to so and so who then yells at so and so who turns out to be so and so's (this is the first so and so, by the way) fake pet wildebeest. "Gossip" as I like to call it. My definition of gossip is speaking about someone(s) outside of their presence when it does not involve any of the parties participating in the discussion. If information is volunteered, that's fine. If you're concerned about someone's wellbeing and would like some guidance/help/plan of action/air strike then it's justifiable. But when you're talking about people for purely malicious or entertainment purposes, I find it reprehensible. Do I do it? I certainly try not to. Most of the time I do, it's out of concern. It certainly isn't with malicious intent. I'm pretty tolerant of most people and most ways of life as long as they don't interfere with the lives of others (My only real beef with other philosophies is Hell, because it directly effects parties not involved in that religion (it's the only situation like that I'm aware of). But that's another discussion). But when "speculations" or "hearsay" is transferred with no real relevance to any parties involved, it's just wrong.
That's how these "dramas" generally start(or so I can tell, having never been involved in any to my oh so fragmented recollections). And then, deception begins. I'm bad at deception. I couldn't lie my way out of bed in the morning. And I don't. If you ask me, point blank, any question I'll pretty much answer it. There's 1, maybe 2, things I would feel uncomfortable talking about, but other than that I'm an open-book. Call it a lack of complexity, call it what you will, but I try to follow the creed that if you feel ashamed of something, change it or don't feel bad about it. Either it's justifiable in your eyes and you shouldn't feel bad about it, or you feel it's wrong and should change it for your own wellbeing. What other people think shouldn't matter a bit. I believe it was Dr. Suess who said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." If someone finds what you're doing despicable, then they can deal with it themselves. If you believe it's justified, you have no bad feelings about it (or the positive outweighs the negative), you don't have to change for them. Unless, of course, you want to. But often those people who don't understand and condemn things you feel are perfectly acceptable aren't the type of people you need to hang around anyway.
(I know this is a rant, but that's the second word in the title for crying out loud! I haven't had an actual rant in sometime, bear with me or go get some apple juice and take a nap). If you're completely open and don't feel ashamed of any of the things you do, you've got nothing to worry about. If you do things that you feel bad about and regret, apologize, admit you were wrong, apologize again, and try to learn from your mistake and not repeat it. Whenever feelings start getting hurt, take a step back. Survey the situation. Usually, they're pretty easy to disect. There's no sense in letting tiny, fixable problems turn into horrible beasts. Find the original source. Sit everyone down, tell them to stop worrying so much about everyone else, and put everything out in the open. Sometimes tact is necessary. But sometimes you just have to be firm.
The most important thing to remember is to be happy with who you are. Mold yourself into the individual you want to be. Do some self-searching, think for a change. It might be painful (you've seen me do it), but improve yourself until you've found something that works. If you're content with who you are, nothing can really hurt you. Your opinion is the only one that matters. That's not to say you shouldn't listen to criticism. Try to constantly improve. When someone points out one of your "flaws" look at it. If you find you don't like it, change. If you find it's not a flaw at all, don't. If that person can't look past it, they're probably not worth having around.
It seems I've run out of time, but I'll repeat the credo and the quote because I think they sum things up. If you're ashamed of something, change it or don't be ashamed. And, as Dr. Suess said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (It should be noted that this is true only for your actions that don't affect others. If you do things that have malicious or harmful effects on your fellow man, effects they can't ignore such as abuse verbal and physical, you have a responsibility to change.) Follow those two, and you'll only need to answer to yourself. Unfortunately, you might find you're the most difficult person to deal with of all.
Thursday, June 10
Wednesday, June 9
Tuesday, June 8
Monday, June 7
The One True Oyster
Nothing much new. Except a Perse entry. So go and read it! Maybe more writing later. But who am I kidding? That's your question for the day.
Saturday, June 5
And then there was a puppy, and a kitty, and a really big explosion! Really!
So today was the SAT. The SAT. One of the most important tests you can take in your life. I did the practice test (800 Verbal, 740 Math (silly mode, why do you taunt me?) and was feeling pretty good about my prospects. I got up on time, a bit early in fact, and got over to school. And that's when it hit me. I was being followed. The SAT aside, I made a quick turn into a local Car Washing Facility in which some manner of drug deal was going on. I didn't have time to ask for seconds as a purple dune buggy with a clown dressed in shades of orange and cyan raised his shotgun at my quivering form and the bear-in-a-tutu driver Roared with such ferocity, my car seat will never be able to remove the stain. The smell's another story.
Anyway, I dash through the parking lot and around another corner. I look backwards to see my situation. Whew, they're gone. I look forward again and think Well you sure don't see that everySWEET MOTHER OF MY FAKE LORD, IS THAT A GIANT COLUMN OF FLAME?! It was indeed a giant column of fire. As brimstone rained from the Heavens on High, I knew either Satan had come to take what was rightfully his or I left the gas on at home and Joe, our resident Hobo, had gotten a warm welcome for his smoke break. I did a 360 and sped towards downtown, the Dark Prince's monstrous form reigning over the entire city. Lightning arced through the sky, demons of all manners, breeds, and sexual orientations swooped on wings made purely from the skin of the damned (and duct tape). The anguished cries from the Firey Underworld sent shivers throughout my being, forboding an eternity to come. I could not let this stand.
I summoned an army of my Puritan ancestors and they arose in the Horizon, a fleet of tri-cornered hat wearing Angels, brandishing pitchforks, torches, and assorted Disneyland memorabilia. The demons and Puritans clashed, leaving me to take on the Prince of Darkness himself. After Ozzy was vanquished (just fed him a Big Mac, the guy has veins like oatmeal), I turned around to see Satan sipping his margarita and reading the Washington Post. "I do love a good FLAMING BALL OF FIRE in the morning," he shouted as a tossed a boulder sized ball of flame straight at me. But being the ever vigilant, observant fellow I perpetually am, I picked up a fallen tree branch that had managed to avoid the firey vortex of doomed souls, fashioned a makeshift cross, and used it to absorb the fireball and defeat Satan once and for all. And that was why I missed the SAT.
Ok, so I exaggerate a bit. In reality, I went to West instead of Bearden, rushed to Bearden (after turning the wrong way on Kingston), fumbled my way around with a janitor making unhelpful comments about my disarray and belated condition, and finally got to the room, 2minutes after they had started. My father was livid and although I laughed it off, it is a horrible feeling after having done something so ridiculous. To go home, knowing you should be somewhere else doing something else is really quite unpleasant. Not to mention I'll have to wait til September or so to take it, an immense pain in the rear.
Ah well. Dylicious irony would have it that the reasons were easily discernible. If you've taken the Pre-Test, there is a story about the human mind being able to separate important facts from chaos. The example this particular exposition gave was of a deer trail. Deer make almost imperceptible trails in the wood, and yet somehow some people can pick out minute signs and follow them. They know what to look for. Well, the same thing happened to me, but I was looking for the wrong thing. I knew it was at Bearden. I knew it. But then I talked to someone online who thought it was at West. So the doubt was planted. When I finally went and saw for myself, I saw WEST HIGH SCHOOL printed on the paper. And I thought that was that. But, in fact, that was a copy of my school. Why it was written there too is beyond me, but I won't put the blame where it's not fully deserved. But it also had "Test Center: Bearden High School." I had just ignored the "chaos" and picked out the signs I was looking for. It just so happened I was looking for the wrong thing.
So I messed up. It's not like I'm the only one who hasn't taken an SAT yet(other than the one in 7th grade). But it's still an added hassle. Nothing to be done for it now but to move on. It's probably best not to bring it up again. On the bright side, it has replaced the Beretta Obliberation as my most recent major screw-up. How that's particularly bright, I'm not quite sure. But there I am.
Moving on, the Perse entry might be delayed again. I don't really feel like doing it, and to introduce an optimistic character in a less than motivated mood isn't a wise idea. We'll see. It'll happen by Wednesday though. Until next time...
Anyway, I dash through the parking lot and around another corner. I look backwards to see my situation. Whew, they're gone. I look forward again and think Well you sure don't see that everySWEET MOTHER OF MY FAKE LORD, IS THAT A GIANT COLUMN OF FLAME?! It was indeed a giant column of fire. As brimstone rained from the Heavens on High, I knew either Satan had come to take what was rightfully his or I left the gas on at home and Joe, our resident Hobo, had gotten a warm welcome for his smoke break. I did a 360 and sped towards downtown, the Dark Prince's monstrous form reigning over the entire city. Lightning arced through the sky, demons of all manners, breeds, and sexual orientations swooped on wings made purely from the skin of the damned (and duct tape). The anguished cries from the Firey Underworld sent shivers throughout my being, forboding an eternity to come. I could not let this stand.
I summoned an army of my Puritan ancestors and they arose in the Horizon, a fleet of tri-cornered hat wearing Angels, brandishing pitchforks, torches, and assorted Disneyland memorabilia. The demons and Puritans clashed, leaving me to take on the Prince of Darkness himself. After Ozzy was vanquished (just fed him a Big Mac, the guy has veins like oatmeal), I turned around to see Satan sipping his margarita and reading the Washington Post. "I do love a good FLAMING BALL OF FIRE in the morning," he shouted as a tossed a boulder sized ball of flame straight at me. But being the ever vigilant, observant fellow I perpetually am, I picked up a fallen tree branch that had managed to avoid the firey vortex of doomed souls, fashioned a makeshift cross, and used it to absorb the fireball and defeat Satan once and for all. And that was why I missed the SAT.
Ok, so I exaggerate a bit. In reality, I went to West instead of Bearden, rushed to Bearden (after turning the wrong way on Kingston), fumbled my way around with a janitor making unhelpful comments about my disarray and belated condition, and finally got to the room, 2minutes after they had started. My father was livid and although I laughed it off, it is a horrible feeling after having done something so ridiculous. To go home, knowing you should be somewhere else doing something else is really quite unpleasant. Not to mention I'll have to wait til September or so to take it, an immense pain in the rear.
Ah well. Dylicious irony would have it that the reasons were easily discernible. If you've taken the Pre-Test, there is a story about the human mind being able to separate important facts from chaos. The example this particular exposition gave was of a deer trail. Deer make almost imperceptible trails in the wood, and yet somehow some people can pick out minute signs and follow them. They know what to look for. Well, the same thing happened to me, but I was looking for the wrong thing. I knew it was at Bearden. I knew it. But then I talked to someone online who thought it was at West. So the doubt was planted. When I finally went and saw for myself, I saw WEST HIGH SCHOOL printed on the paper. And I thought that was that. But, in fact, that was a copy of my school. Why it was written there too is beyond me, but I won't put the blame where it's not fully deserved. But it also had "Test Center: Bearden High School." I had just ignored the "chaos" and picked out the signs I was looking for. It just so happened I was looking for the wrong thing.
So I messed up. It's not like I'm the only one who hasn't taken an SAT yet(other than the one in 7th grade). But it's still an added hassle. Nothing to be done for it now but to move on. It's probably best not to bring it up again. On the bright side, it has replaced the Beretta Obliberation as my most recent major screw-up. How that's particularly bright, I'm not quite sure. But there I am.
Moving on, the Perse entry might be delayed again. I don't really feel like doing it, and to introduce an optimistic character in a less than motivated mood isn't a wise idea. We'll see. It'll happen by Wednesday though. Until next time...