Irony

Laziness is the reason I want to kill myself.

Laziness is the reason I never do.

Meh, spent most of band thinking of suicide. I was distraught because I made a really stupid mistake on the Calculus test that really damaged my chances at an A. It's already an uphill battle and now I've made it worse. Personally, I don't care too much. I mean, the grade itself doesn't matter. I'm in college, the Honors program won't look at this semester ( I don't think), etc. The only reason I'm worried is because I know my dad will get really angry and give me a guilt trip, especially about me spending so much time playing my game.

Ah well. I have theories about why this sort of thing makes me jump to my defense. They're not worth posting. Suffice it to say, I got my progress report, did the math, and found hope is not lost yet. My mood instantly improved. Amazing how you can go from suicidal to borderline positive in a matter of minutes. I don't think I'll ever kill myself, as long as I don't have a gun/CO2 tank readily available. I'm too impulsive... I'm too... stressed. Go figure.