Meh. The depression got worse. The hope's gone, partly of my own doing and partly of reality. I think I'd be a better English teacher than Math teacher. I don't know if I'll be able to get through Math in college, which is hard because I have to keep a 3.75 GPA. I want to get certified for English and Math, but it will be a lot of work and I don't know if I can keep up. I want to skip college and start the career I envision. I don't care what I'd miss in college, I just can't take this uncertainty and stress with too little positive influences. College will only be worse. Encouragement seems to fall on deaf ears. It's nice that you guys try though. I really do appreciate it. Ellen's "Peace!" actually did help. It's amazing you people don't just give up and let me wallow in whatever it is I wallow in. Maybe it's enough to keep me afloat. Time will tell.
I worry too much.
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