Some of you may still be wondering "But Dylan, you're such a lazy, good for nothing, procrastinating bum; what's with the sudden burst of enthusiasm in writing, long, incoherent, babbling posts about nothing in particular?" Well, you anonymous voice you, let me try to explain a bit. It's widely known I'm a huge procrastinator. So, by writing in this silly thing, I'm wasting even more time in the guise of productivity, a win win. Also, I mentioned sharp and pointy objects aimed at vital organs. Well, that's not even the half of it. You see, although some people seem like nice, kind, caring people, they can be quite evil when they so desire. However, they have to be sneaky about it, so as to not give away their ruse. One such instance is Martha, the reigning champion and master riddle solver extraordinare. She's been one of the people hounding me about making more, but she tries to do it without seeming evil. Our conversations almost took on a second conversation... And here, for your reading enjoyment, is a dramatic reinactment of one such conversation (on AIM):

Martha: Hey! (Translation: You know what I'm here for.)
Me: Hello. (Translation: I don't have the foggiest idea!)
Martha: How are you? (Translation: Where's my freakin riddle!? Don't make me break out the baseball bat!)
Me: I'm alright, yourself? (Translation: Umm...Uh... Well, funny story that. I've been meaning to write a riddle, I've just...uh... been busy.)
Martha: That's good; I'm doing fine myself. (Trans: Likely story! I know where you live, and if you want to stay "alright" I suggest you make a riddle, kapish?)
Me: So, what's new? (Trans: You wouldn't dare! I'll get around to a riddle when it suits me!)
Martha: Oh not much; hey are you planning on making any riddles soon? (Trans: Oh, Wouldn't I!?! I want a riddle, I want it now! I'd hate for anything drastic to happen, like say, someone just "happening" to throw a big, explosive brick at your computer...)
Me: I've been meaning too, I'll do it soon. (Trans: Not my computer! You monster! Fine, I'll make you your accursed riddle, but leave my computer out of this!)
Martha: Well let me know when you've got it done! (Trans: That's right, just make the rhyme and no one gets hurt...)
Me: I certainly will! Bleh, look at the time, I've got kittens to save and homework to do! (Trans: *mumbles* I'll get to work right away! Just put down the tazer and everything will be fine!)
Martha: Alright, talk to you later! (Trans: Alright, bub, but I'm watching you! If you even think you can lie to me, you're in for a big surprise, and this kind doesn't involve The Publisher's Clearing House and thousands upon thousands of shiny metal butterflies, if you catch my drift!)
Me: Cya! (Trans: Yes, have no fear, I'm working right now, honest! I'll have it by next weekend! I'd best get to work *runs fleeing into the hills*)

Well, there you have it. Could you feel the cold, evil venom? And to think, that was the censored version! Well, back to the grindstone. I've got a deadline to make!