Persistence is Futile

-Jack Kevorkian's motto

Last night was pretty good. I was initially wary of going to/being at a party of primarily people in my sister's grade, and I did feel rather disconnected from "the group." The differences between the "AP crowd" in her grade and mine were noticeably different. I suppose that's expected of course, but it's sort of interesting how cliques of the same sort of "set" of people can be so diverse. Further proof of why stereotyping and trying to group people is pointless. Still, each group, especially comparing the top of the class the year before me, my year, and the year behind me, has its own unique character. Kinda neat.

Anyway, I didn't mesh with them well. What I did instead was stay inside with someone else who didn't "fit in." She is in Carrie's grade, but she's quite religious and rather conservative in action, so the shenanigans of the others weren't really appealing to her. So we just sat inside and talked. I fear I was slightly didactic, but we developed a good rapport and talked for a few hours. It was nice, getting to know someone, as in know them better. There's just something really enjoyable about it for me, when I can look back on a conversation and think "Something actually happened." That feeling of having learned something deeper than the superficial pleasantries of normal conversation, of having connected to another individual really leaves you feeling fulfilled. It's the sort of thing I'd love to do when I become a teacher.

I got back to my dorm about 12:30 and went over to Christopher Martin and John's room, just to say hi. I ended up staying there til 3:30 as they were having a conversation about the meaning of self. I don't normally enjoy philosophical conversations, but I was able to just listen to most of it and add annoying comments when the oppurtunity rose (Christopher: "So we can establish that there are real laws of logic." Me: "Heh, ' I got pulled over for mental speeding, but I think the policeman's going to let me off with a warning!' ").

Christopher also has this chair that makes one feel positively fetal. I felt a strange sense of calm inside it, but I also felt more genuinely fearful. I actually regressed to a more childlike state of mind. That might have contributed to my willingness to stay with the discussion. It ended up being pretty interesting, although I couldn't put any of it down in here in coherent form for the life of me. Suffice it to say, when I finally pulled myself away three hours later, I returned ever so briefly before going to bed so that I could have the last word.

That word? "Boobies."