It still beats the goose step.
Wednesday, July 6
Whoa
This morning I looked at the clock and it said 7:32, and I was disappointed I couldn't go back to sleep. Then I woke up from looking at the clock to find it was a dream and it was only 7:06. Kinda hurts your mind, eh?
Tuesday, July 5
Monday, July 4
Ug
I don't want to go back! I don't wanna! *sigh*
In other news, I'm not planning on having children anytime soon. Small children are maddening. Not so much the girls, but the boys, at least in my oh so limited experiences. Boys are loud and rowdy and prideful and disrespectful. Girls just divide into factions and have an arms race a la gossip. Who will spread the most rumors first to discredit the other, prettier one who all the boys constantly flirt with GOD I'M SO FAT!!!
See, I can handle that. It's the "I win! I'm better than you! Let me punch you one last time just to reassert my superiority!" mentality that I can't really take. I'm not a person who commands respect, I generally prefer to win people to my side or at least poison their sodas before they realize I've insulted their religious beliefs and/or mother's face.
I don't know, is it just me? Is it odd that I primarily talk to girls? I mean, of the people I talk to on a quasi-regular basis (at least a few words every week or so), there are 3-4 boys and 6-8 girls. Girls are easier to talk to maybe? Maybe I don't feel threatened by them? But what's to feel threatened about when you're talking 1 on 1 to another social outcast?
I dunno. Maybe I'm a dirty, lecherous old man. Yes, I think that'd be pretty accurate. And on that note, back to babysitting. Dirty old men make great babysitters. The never take their eyes off the kids!
I'm a bad person.
In other news, I'm not planning on having children anytime soon. Small children are maddening. Not so much the girls, but the boys, at least in my oh so limited experiences. Boys are loud and rowdy and prideful and disrespectful. Girls just divide into factions and have an arms race a la gossip. Who will spread the most rumors first to discredit the other, prettier one who all the boys constantly flirt with GOD I'M SO FAT!!!
See, I can handle that. It's the "I win! I'm better than you! Let me punch you one last time just to reassert my superiority!" mentality that I can't really take. I'm not a person who commands respect, I generally prefer to win people to my side or at least poison their sodas before they realize I've insulted their religious beliefs and/or mother's face.
I don't know, is it just me? Is it odd that I primarily talk to girls? I mean, of the people I talk to on a quasi-regular basis (at least a few words every week or so), there are 3-4 boys and 6-8 girls. Girls are easier to talk to maybe? Maybe I don't feel threatened by them? But what's to feel threatened about when you're talking 1 on 1 to another social outcast?
I dunno. Maybe I'm a dirty, lecherous old man. Yes, I think that'd be pretty accurate. And on that note, back to babysitting. Dirty old men make great babysitters. The never take their eyes off the kids!
I'm a bad person.
Friday, July 1
Traveling Goodness
I was at a gas station in Fort Chiswick, halfway between Charlotteville and Knoxville. So I went into the bathroom and there was one of those condom machines they commonly have in men's restrooms (I don't know what they have for the ladies, but the mens' room generally has a metal box where one puts in quarters and discreetly receive a form of protection that even the secret service can't provide).
Anyway, etched on the machine, it said "For refund, insert baby here."
Oh the simple joys of solo travel. And no, that's not a metaphor for masturbation ya sick freak.
Anyway, etched on the machine, it said "For refund, insert baby here."
Oh the simple joys of solo travel. And no, that's not a metaphor for masturbation ya sick freak.
Thursday, June 30
I was watching the Daily Show and it had a segment on how Hitler references are being thrown around left and right. "George Bush is Hitler" "Democrats are Hitler" "Bob Dole loves Hitler. You know it, I know it, Mine Fehrer knows it!"
In response, I think it'd be nice to start a "Mussolini was a bad guy too!" campaign. Maybe "Maniacs for Mussolini." So next time you're tempted to compare your parent's restrictions upon your wild sexual exploits or skyrocketing drug mule career, don't say "That's what Hitler would do!" Say, "Mussolini hated freedom too!"
So remember: "Mussolini: The non-cliche Hitler."
In response, I think it'd be nice to start a "Mussolini was a bad guy too!" campaign. Maybe "Maniacs for Mussolini." So next time you're tempted to compare your parent's restrictions upon your wild sexual exploits or skyrocketing drug mule career, don't say "That's what Hitler would do!" Say, "Mussolini hated freedom too!"
So remember: "Mussolini: The non-cliche Hitler."
Wednesday, June 29
I'm Addicted
To Wikipedia. (Hey, I'm afraid to make phone calls, ask aid from authority figures, and attend parties! Hooray!)